Monday, May 7, 2007

Moderate Fatah Terrorists Seriously Wound Israeli Security Guard

President Abbas promises investigation, apologizes for bungling assassination.

ISL – Jerusalem
President Abbas issued a sincere apology to Israel after an unknown number of Fatah terrorists seriously wounded an Israeli security guard: "As everyone knows we pride ourselves on being a moderate terrorist organization. Our only aim is to kill or wound Israelis in as moderate a manner as possible. I am sure that this shooting which has left the security guard seriously wounded was a mistake on our part. I accept full responsibility for this failure and I have promised PM Olmert to investigate why the murder attempt failed so miserably, causing much anguish to all sides concerned. I also promise that those responsible will be brought to account and will not be given a second chance to ruin the Fatah's good reputation."

The PM's office issued a statement accepting the apology: "We are completely satisfied with the sincerity of the apology – after all, terrorists are human beings too and like all of us they make mistakes. We trust Abbas will take the necessary steps to ensure that such errors do not happen again."
No word yet from the wounded security guard, although we suspect he might see things quite differently…
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