Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Palestinian Unemployment Down As Funeral Services Continue Surge

ISL – Gaza
The Palestinian economy continues to recover from its year long recession as unemployment numbers drop sharply, led by the recent surge in the mainstay of the Palestinian market- the Death Industry.
Hamas Finance Minister Sheik Ahmad Skullah who came into office just one year ago took credit for the renewed growth of the Palestinian economy : "We promised prosperity and employment to our voters and I am glad to say that once again – we have delivered" said Sheik Skullah, "when we came into office, barely a dozen people would get killed in a month, and today we reach that number in one day," the proud Sheikh pointed out.The minister credits hard work and determination on the part of the Ministry, along with a sound grasp of economic theory:

"Even in the darkest times of the recession, when a whole day would go by and no one was getting killed, not even by accident, we never gave up hope. We knew that by cutting down unnecessary bureaucracy, and removing the proverbial "red tape" we would encourage the Palestinian entrepreneurial spirit and that is exactly what happened," the minister said.
Financial experts agree, estimating that more than a hundred new privately owned militias were started in the past year, as well as dozens of funeral parlors, while noting that this an unprecedented number of Palestinians start-ups, rivaling and even surpassing, the neighboring Israeli economy.
The "man on the street" seems to be satisfied too. For instance, Mustafa Shalabi, who had been unemployed for the past year said that just this week he found a new job as a grave digger: "It pays well, I get benefits, and finally I have some job security," said the happy family man who also has plans for the future: "If everything goes well, I will have enough money to marry off my eldest daughter," says Mustapha, who hopes that the groom will remain alive till the wedding: "But even if he doesn't make it, well, that's just more work,and more money for me. I guess a Palestinian just can't lose these days!" said Mr. Shalabi, while cheerfully digging another grave, which, for all we know, could be his own.

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