Monday, June 4, 2007

PA to Crack Down on Illegal Terrorists After Work Accident Kills Three

ISL – Gaza
Three terrorists were killed yesterday in Gaza after mishandling explosives intended for an attack on Jews. The deaths follow several similar incidents in the past few weeks and have sparked a harsh response from the Ministry of Genocide. The Ministry, responsible for training and licensing all terrorists in the Palestinian Authority territories, condemned the dead operatives, claiming that they were working on their own, without training, and without a license to own, assemble or use explosive devices in order to kill Jews: "The regulations are clear and well-known: only the government can train and license terrorists, and this is exactly the reason why" said Mohhama Atta , spokesman for the Ministry .
Mr. Atta said that the ministry will crackdown on unlicensed terrorists in order to put a stop to the self-inflicted carnage which has given Palestinian terrorism a reputation of unprofessionalism:

"accidents like these have caused other terrorist groups such as Al-Kaeda to look down on us, and as a result, we are embarrassed even to show up at professional conventions" said the Spokesman, who admitted that getting the Palestinians to recognize the rule of law and behave in a civilized manner has been more difficult than anticipated: " the members of our society are used to killing Jews whenever they want, in whichever way possible, but now that we have our own government in a self-ruled territory such behavior is no longer acceptable. If we want a functioning, civilized society, we have to get used to killing Jews in a modern, civilized manner" said Atta, who hopes to model the Palestinian society on the example of the efficiently run German state of the Third Reich, "whose members would never dream of killing Jews without formal training and prior authorization".
The Ministry's intentions to crackdown on independent amateur terrorists has been met with derision by the members of these groups who seem reluctant to give up their traditions, or as one such entrepreneur put it: " We don't need the government to tell us how and when to kill Jews. This is just another attempt to regulate a business that has thrived in the free market, in order to tax us. The government should stick to it's job which is making the streets safe for our children " said a free lancing terrorist who refused to identify himself, "why, just yesterday an armed gunman stormed into a grocery store in our neighborhood and killed two children in an attempted robbery – I tell you, it's just not safe here anymore, people have become animals," lamented the liberal terrorist.

inspired by the article at Eye On the World
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