Sunday, August 12, 2007

Olmert Backs Off Plan to Establish State For Every Palestinian

After receiving much ridicule and criticism for the new plan, Olmert announced that the criteria for receiving Palestinian statehood will be revised. The new policy will reduce the number of expected new Palestinian states in the West Bank and Gaza from two million to a mere several hundred. This will be done by using the same criteria that guided the creation of the Oslo Accords:

1 - only groups that have vowed to destroy Israel and to kill all its Jews can be considered for statehood.

2 –each group's viability for statehood will be measured by the number of Jews attacked, killed or wounded within a specific time-frame. Olmert's aides have leaked that the entry bar will be set at 150 Jews killed, attacked or wounded per year . This number will be adjusted in negotiations with the Palestinians so that groups that sincerely want to destroy Israel but lack sufficient manpower or arms to do so will not be left out, which would only alienate them further.

3 – Palestinian individuals and groups who want to live peacefully with Israel, with or without a state of their own, will be completely ignored or deported or, preferably, murdered. Olmert explained that such groups do not pose a threat to Israel and therefore cannot be negotiated with: "Such radical Palestinians are a danger to the whole idea of the peace process and must be dealt with as harshly as possible," Olmert said. "They are as bad as the settlers and even worse."

Olmert hopes to compile a list of Palestinians groups who comply with these criteria and who are therefore viable for a lengthy, torturous, bloody peace process, culminating eventually in a Palestinian state on Jewish land, " because no other solution is possible, imaginable or even desired," said Olmert.

However, despite these adjustments,

military and political experts who dismissed the original plan as "too stupid to acknowledge" still insist that the plan is unrealistic since it assumes a limitless supply of live Jews: "One day there will be no Jews left to kill and therefore no Jewish state to negotiate with or to grant the Palestinians their statehood and then we will be back to square one – the Land of Israel will again become an unpopulated wasteland with a few thousand destitute Arabs," said Eli Cohen head of the right-wing Israeli think tank: "The Truth or What's Left of It".
Olmert's revised plan was also attacked by his Leftist colleagues who felt that Olmert was disrespecting Palestinian nationality: " Olmert's plan includes leaving the State of Israel intact which is a grave insult to the fragile Palestinian national identity," said Yossi Beilin the so called "architect" of the Oslo Accords. "If Olmert had a drop of human compassion in his heart, he would realize that the only way to end Palestinian suffering is to destroy Israel and kill all of its Jewish inhabitants," said Beilin who added, "Unfortunately, Olmert is an unfeeling brute."

Follow IsraelSatireLab on Twitter

No comments: