Thursday, October 4, 2007

1.49 Million Palestinians Survive Gaza Massacre

ISL - Gaza
Close to one million, forty nine hundred, nine hundred and eighty eight Palestinians, nearly the entire population of Gaza, miraculously escaped death when Israeli Army forces invaded the Gaza Strip and committed a massacre. Twelve armed terrorists were massacred in the massacre which took place in Beit Hanoun. The massacre follows a previous massacre committed by Israeli forces several days earlier in which Israeli Army forces massacred two armed Palestinians who tried to cross the Israeli border "in order to go shopping", according to Palestinian sources.
Palestinian PM, Mahmoud Abbas, denounced the bloody massacre and called upon international forces to carpet bomb Israel with nuclear, chemical or biological weapons in order to stop the tragic, inhuman massacre of innocent Palestinian gunmen: "It is only by a miracle that most Palestinians survived this massacre, but how long can we count on that?" Abbas asked. (Although, to be sure, this was, according to Palestinian sources, the twenty- second massacre committed by Israeli forces this year, who also committed five genocides and three holocausts, in which nearly a hundred Palestinian gunmen were killed and dozens wounded.)

Meanwhile, the surviving Palestinians breathed a sigh of relief and praised Allah for saving them once again from another Israeli massacre. As usual, ISL was on the spot to record the authentic voice of the survivors of this week's massacre in Gaza:

Latifa, a typical housewife from Gaza said that her husband was beating her up in the kitchen when she heard on the radio that another massacre had occurred: " I quickly realized that by a miracle we were saved. I praised Allah and thanked him for rescuing me from the cruel hands of the Zionists," said Latifa from her hospital bed, where she is being treated for a cracked skull and other lacerations.
We also talked to Youseff, a third grade pupil, who told us that he too was saved by a miracle: "We were in suicide-bomber class when the principal came in and told us that there had been another massacre and that we were saved by a miracle. We all thanked Allah for doing a miracle and saving us once again from a massacre."
And it goes on and on: In Gaza prison (now, under new and improved management!) Ahmed, a gay Palestinian sentenced to a hundred lashes and death by stoning said, "I couldn't be happier", a sentiment echoed by Sawa, the thirteen year old girl who was brutally raped by her uncle and now awaits trial for her heinous crime, and Mahmoud, who was caught in the act of
illegal eating during the Ramadan fast and now faces twenty years in prison - all of them praised Allah for saving them from the cruelties of Zionism and assured us that they could not be happier to live to see another day in the Palestinian paradise called Gaza...

Hat tip: Mere Rhetoric and My Right Word and special thanks to the
Palestinians for their original use of language without which this satire and many others would not be possible (or necessary, but that's another issue).

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