After weeks of dismal reports from the preliminary negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians, a breakthrough has finally been achieved: Palestinians have agreed to accept Israel's offer to establish launching pads in the West Bank and, most importantly, Jerusalem.
According to the Palestinians, who will receive complete control of Eastern Jerusalem and most of the West Bank, the decision to accept the offer was not easy: "This is a difficult issue for many Palestinians since we were expecting a complete retreat and an Israeli withdrawal to somewhere between Cyprus and the coastline as a starting point of the negotiations at the summit," said Palestinian PM Abbas, " but in peace, as in all of life, you must compromise".
In order to ensure the backing of the less reasonable hardliners, Abbas has had to assure his followers that the delay in the destruction of Israel is only temporary: "Good things come to those who wait," Abbas counseled his impatient country men.
Meanwhile, in a further effort to placate his radical followers, the moderate holocaust denier has also requested Israel to supply first grade mortars and rocket launchers along with thousands of shells: "If enough hard-liners will have long and short range weapons they will be so busy shooting them at Israel that they will not have the time or the energy to resist the peace process," said Abbas, restating a fundamental proposition of the "Oslo Logic".
Israel has yet to agree to the demand but has already expressed satisfaction with the progress made in talks: "Now we have them right where we want them," said FM Livni, "and the fact that they are now asking us for weapons just goes to prove that all problems can be solved with negotiations. After all – they could have asked Iran or Syria for weapons but they specifically wanted Israel to arm them. That is progress, that is trust and that is exactly the kind of cooperation we have been working for and looking forward to all these years," said Livni, the first Israeli foriegn minister to outsmart the Palestinians...