Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Israel Developing Weapon Against Stupidity, Iran Feels Threatened

ISL - Jerusalem
In the wake of Iran's accusations that Israel, together with the United States is working on a genetic bomb targeted at Iranians, Israel has decided to come clean:
"It is true that we are developing a new weapon," said Major Cohen from Army Intelligence, "but, as usual, the Iranians have it all backwards – we are only close to having a bomb against stupidity.
"I guess it is natural that the Iranian regime feels threatened," the Major said, "but it is not intended specifically for them and in any case it is not a genetic weapon."

ISL has also learned that the Anti-Stupidity bomb is a result of a breakthrough in brain science in which researchers, using new technology, discovered that the human brain emits sigma waves that indicate stupidity, bigotry and racism, which are all closely related.
Military engineers have managed to construct a prototype of bomb, fitted with a stupidity radar that automatically locks onto the nearest and strongest sigma waves and then zeros in on the target and destroys it.
Military experts say that such a weapon could wreak havoc on Israel's enemies, instantly targeting their absurdly stupid and bigoted leaders.
"If the bomb works, we can have peace within a year," said one army man. "Our only fear is that such a bomb will get into the hands of our enemies and then we will be extremely susceptible – cabinet meetings, editorial sessions at "Haaretz", faculty meetings in the Humanities– all could be easily targeted and destroyed if such a bomb gets into the wrong hands," explained our anonymous source.
"So, for the meantime," he added, "the government has not permitted us to manufacture it and who can blame them – I guess they're not that stupid!"

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