Wednesday, October 17, 2007

It's News! It's Satire! No, It's the Palestinians - Claiming The Western Wall!

ISL – Jerusalem

One day after achieving a historic breakthrough, talks between the Palestinians and Israelis have hit another, unexpected snag - Palestinian PM Abbas now claims that the Western Wall, "Is part of our heritage and should by no means be left in the hands of the Jews."
Abbas explained that in Palestinian tradition, the Western Wall holds a prominent place: "It is extremely important for us not to let Jews pray at the Western Wall," said Abbas. "This has been a tradition for hundreds of years. Our forefathers did everything they could to prevent Jews from praying there, including killing and stoning Jews, and it is such an important part of the Palestinian tradition of Antisemitism, arbitrary violence and childish spite that I feel we must continue to practice it if we are to respect our history and identity."

Meanwhile, Israel expressed disappointment at the new development: "Just when we thought we were getting somewhere, they come up with something new," said chief negotiator, FM Zippi Livni.
"Sometimes I feel like they don't really want peace," the Minister confided, "But then I remind myself of our ultimate goal – getting good press – and I gather my staff from the Foreign Office and we rack our brains until we come up with an offer that the Palestinians can't refuse such as giving them the Western Wall – after all it's just a wall, and an old and dirty one at that – and the whole Jewish Quarter in return for not blaming us for the breakdown of the peace negotiations," explained Livni.
"It is this kind of professionalism that has sustained our delicate relationship with the Palestinians for so many hard years," said the Israeli FM, "and I hope to continue fostering this relationship until it reaches its complete and final fulfillment – tomorrow's headlines."
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Mr Bagel said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well written and sadly quite funny.
Mr Bagel

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satiricohen said...

Thanks for dropping by. Not knowing to laugh or cry was exactly the mood I wrote this in. I'm glad it came through.