Two months after the Israeli government announced the "Death Lottery" here at ISL (read all about it here), a first winner has been announced – a 20 year old soldier, who was lucky enough to be standing on the road hitchhiking when Arab terrorists opened fire at him. The soldier, who sustained moderate to serious wounds, immediately went to the nearest hospital to collect his prize: free medical treatment and free, all expenses paid rehabilitation for the rest of his life!
Another Israeli, who was only lightly wounded from bullets shot at his car, missed his chance at the big prize, "I never won anything in my life," said Motti, from a nearby settlement.
"It's just my luck to get this close to first prize and then miss on it completely," lamented the settler, who wondered how he would break the terrible news to his wife, "She's always saying that I'm a good- for- nothing, but really, how is this my fault? "
Other onlookers commented on the unusual good fortune of the wounded soldier, "Some people have all the luck, "said one Israeli, "Imagine, only twenty years old and already set for life!"
But his companion said, "It's all Proteczia, I'm telling you. It's not about how well you do, it's all about who you know in this country."
Be that as it may, ISL still believes inthe system and therefore duly reminds its readers that the lottery, instituted by the Israeli Government, is open to Israeli citizens of all ages, indefinitely. All Jewish citizens who are still alive are eligible to enter the lottery.
First prize in the lottery , a fresh grave and a standard issue tombstone, has yet to be claimed.
So, what are you waiting for?