Thursday, November 22, 2007

Israel to Supply Fighter Aircraft, Battle Tanks to Palestinians in Another Goodwill Gesture

ISL – Jerusalem
In another sign that the peace talks preceding the Annapolis summit are warming up, the Israeli government has approved a massive military aide package to the Palestinians. The goodwill gesture, the third in a series of lethal mutual gestures, will include twenty F-35 fighter planes and a battalion of Abrams Mark 3 battle tanks, as well as an artillery brigade of long-range 175 mm mobile cannons.
Israeli PM, Ehud Olmert, said that the gift was made because "History teaches us that the only way to make peace with your sworn enemy is to arm him to the teeth with the most advanced weapons available."

Olmert also said that the gesture had another, spiritual side to it, "The Palestinians have always felt insecure and inferior in their struggle with Israel," said Olmert, "But now, for the first time, they will they have their own modern army. Hopefully this will give them the self-confidence and security they need to finally come to terms with the existence of the Jewish state."
Israel has also volunteered to train the Palestinian soldiers who will form the new army, "Unfortunately training them will take, in some cases, several years," Olmert said, "But since we can't wait that long and we feel that they must have an army of their own – Israeli soldiers will replace the Palestinian ones until they are ready."

IDF Chief of Staff Ashkenazi clarified that the soldiers and pilots will come from the same units that took part in the expulsion of Jews from their homes in Gaza and Samaria, "They've already worked for the Palestinians so it's hard to believe that changing uniforms and taking orders directly from the Palestinians will make any difference to them," said Ashkenazi.
But despite the upbeat vibes coming from the Israeli side,

the Palestinian leadership still does not seemed convinced that the intentions of the Israeli government are peaceful, "The Israelis have lied to us so many times that we find it hard to trust them anymore," said Palestinian chief negotiator, Saeb Arakat , " Will the Israeli pilots really obey our orders? Will they bomb Jerusalem and Tel Aviv when we command them to?" asked Arekat, "And if they don't, can we really call this 'a goodwill gesture'? I mean, if we tell the Israeli tanks to overrun a settlement and they refuse our orders – can we really call that peace?"
"Of course not," Arekeat said, answering himself, "It is just another trick on the part of the Jews to gain our trust and then - when we least expect it - they will go behind our backs and force upon us a spy satellite or a nuclear bomb of our own or something else that will enable us to slaughter them and bring them to their knees, with or without a silly peace agreement," said Arekat, "Really, the Israelis make it so easy to kill them, it's almost not worth it."

Spokesman for the government denied that Israel is considering giving the Palestinians an atomic bomb as a gesture of peace, " The government denies that such a possibility has ever been discussed," said the spokesman, "It denies that Israel has a nuclear bomb, it denies that Olmert is a responsible, intelligent leader committed to the survival and well being of the country, and it emphatically denies that the ministers are capable of making rational decisions, unclouded by their own malice, short-sightedness and incompetence," said the spokesman.

Finally, a government denial we can all agree upon…


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