With the Palestinian economy in shambles and tourism in Bethlehem still in the doldrums, the outlook for a revival would seem quite bleak to the casual observer. However, in-depth knowledge of the situation on the ground reveals that hope is near as the Palestinians develop a new economic sector that shows great promise: Terrorist Tourism.
As is well known, for the past fifteen years the chief economic sector in Gaza has been death, destruction and chaos. The first initiatives in this field, called "The Oslo Accords", were joint Israeli-Palestinian ventures and for many years they were underwritten by the Israeli tax payer and other donor countries. However, as disputes arose over the extent and the ultimate goal of this joint death and destruction project, cooperation in this area has floundered. Inevitably, this led to a downturn in the Palestinian economy which traditionally has relied exclusively on violence to sustain itself. This economic relapse has been exacerbated by the rise of the Hamas in Gaza, not because its violent ideology lacks in ambition or even execution, but rather because its unlimited scope and vulgarity have turned off timid foreign investors such as European donor countries who prefer to invest in a more dignified and elaborate program of genocide, such as led by moderate leader Mahmoud Abbas (who speaks English!).
The New Economy of Death
But the Hamas in Gaza did not give up, "Where there is a will there is a way," says Hamas Minister of Terror and Tourism, Mahmoud Nisa, "When we won the elections and all the money stopped coming in we asked ourselves: what can we do? How can we use the natural ability and inclination of our people to our advantage?"
Mr. Nisa explained that, like Israel "We have no natural resources except our people," and that a wise course of action would utilize these inhuman resources, "Since the only thing we are really good at is violence in all its forms, we decided to exploit that ability."
The result has been a surge in terrorist-related tourism," Terrorists come here from all over the world to observe and to learn," said the minister, "They like to tour the ruined Jewish communities and afterwards we let them shoot some mortars at the Israeli settlements in the Negev – a good time all around for everybody!" says Mahmoud.
The Hamas government is also offering unique packages for terrorist newlyweds, for terrorist families with children and also for families and individuals that do not consider themselves terrorists but would like to take a shot at the Israelis, "We charge double and triple for every round they shoot at the Israelis – and everybody goes home happy," says Mr. Nisa
Newlywed terrorists can get a special, surprise package, "We dress as Israeli soldiers and stage a kidnapping – we blindfold them, beat them up and keep them for a whole week in a small, dark interrogation cell without barely any food but lots of torture."
According to Mahmoud, the surprise package has been a raving success and hundreds of couples from Saudi Arabia, Iran and other friendly countries have signed up, "We have a three month waiting list already," said Mahmoud proudly, "And economically its great – we charge tens of thousands of dollars and give nothing in return except what we would be doing anyway – torturing people!"
Western tourism is also on the rise, says Mahmoud,
"Many leftists from the U.S. and Europe come here on our special anti-Semitic program – they will pay anything to take a picture with one of our fighters or shoot a gun at the Israelis, although there have been some unfortunate incidents," says Mahmoud, referring to the death of terror tourist Rachel Corrie.
But the real heart of the new tourist program has been the "Birthright Plan" which encourages Palestinians from all over the world to visit their homeland and claim their legacy, "We believe it is our birthright to kill Jews," said the Minister, "And we want to explain this to our countrymen who live abroad and who are forgetting their heritage – we fund their tickets and their stay here and they get a chance to reconnect with their roots – and some of them even remain here and go on to kill Israelis – I tell you it is so uplifting that sometimes I feel like crying," said the emotional Mahmoud, "What could be more touching than a Diaspora Palestinian returning to his homeland and killing a Jew? Doesn't it make you cry too? Don't you have a heart?"
According to unofficial estimate, tourism has risen three thousand percent since the Hamas has taken over in Gaza, and revenue from tourism and tourist-related activities will approach a few hundred million dollars this year, mainly from Iran and Saudi Arabia, "This is what we wanted all along," says the Minister, "To be an independent and self-sustaining people in our own land, living our traditional, simple lives of killing as many Jews as possible just like our forefathers did before us - is that really too much to ask?"
The Israel-is-stealing-Christmas story season is upon us - from Yourish
The Case Against Rachel Corrie from INN
Just What the terrorists need - more money - from Atlas Shrugged