This was written in response to the beautiful post from Nuch Epes Ah Chosid who had his car broken into. He responded philosophically and quite forgivingly with a letter on his blog: To the person who broke into my car last night.
I felt that such a beautiful letter deserves a response from its intended receiver or at least from someone like me who can speak for him, so here it is:
Dear Nuch Epes Ah Chosid,
Thank for your kind words and understanding. You would not believe what kind of things people say about us. I have heard every known curse hurled at me at more than once and I have also been beaten while trying to do my job – which is being a small-time thief. The police harass us constantly and many times it seems as if the whole world is against us. I'm sure that as a Jew you know how that must feel.
People always lump us together, as if all thieves are the same. I ask you, are all Jews the same? Of course not. Same thing with us. There are good thieves and bad thieves and some, I admit, are downright evil.
As you noticed I am doing my best to be as polite and considerate as humanly possibly under these difficult circumstances. I believe that as a good thief I should serve my clients to the best of my ability and there are many more who think like me. Believe me – we are the silent majority! Most of us are good people so don't let the sensation-hungry media fool you!
You can imagine how, under these circumstances, your appreciation was most welcome. I wish we had more clients like you – people who understand how hard it is to be one of us, to be born into a tradition that you must carry on. I'm sure you understand - we really do not have a choice.
I am happy to hear that you will be getting some new and better accessories as a result of our "acquaintance" so to speak. If you need anything else stolen just ask. I specialize in car theft but, as it happens, I am currently looking to expand my services. If you need a burglary at your house or even arson I will be happy to oblige. Also, if any of your neighbors are bothering you or if you ever get into trouble with your landlord - I can take care of it so they'll never bother you again. If at anytime you ever need some high quality jewelery on the cheap (or clothes, electrical appliances and, of course - cars) -I'm your man.
Please talk about these matters with Moishe from your shul. He will know how to contact me.
The nice person who broke into your car
Note: As of this posting the links to the original post on Nuch Epes Ah Chosid are dead. I hope it gets fixed soon.