Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bush Visit Already Increasing Democracy in Israel!

ISL – Jerusalem

The fateful visit of the United States President may not fulfill all expectations but at least it has started on the right track, immediately increasing Israeli democracy and therefore enhancing its security by that much more.
This, after Israeli Peace Police arrested several right wing fanatics who attempted to spread seditious facts, inconvenient truths and other information not authorized by the government yesterday in Jerusalem. Said Chief of the Peace Police in Jerusalem, Superintendent Gad Navon: "We were expecting an influx of right-wing fanatics who would attempt to spread illicit information and thus attempt to derail Bush's visit. Fortunately we were prepared and stopped them on time."

Israeli PM Olmert praised the efforts of the Peace Police, "Without their constant vigilance, Israeli democracy would look like a wild free-for-all of competing ideas. We would have anarchy, not democracy," said Olmert.

As an added precaution against the spreading of unauthorized truth and facts the Peace Police has shut down right-wing media outlets such as Israeli National News. Olmert explained that under ordinary circumstances Israeli democracy can tolerate the existence of information that is contrary to established government propaganda, "However," said Olmert, "These are difficult times and Israeli democracy cannot afford the luxury of an opposition to Peace and Human Rights."

Security forces have also declared a closure on all settlements in the West Bank. Settlers will not be allowed into Jerusalem in order to protect foreign reporters from information that may confuse them . Palestinian terrorists though, will be allowed to travel to the capital to attend the Peace negotiations.

It is not known yet how the three members of the settler cell were able to get into the nation's capital. Head of the Yesha Council said that, in all probability, the three settlers were undercover agents working for the Israel Security Service, "By our estimates, close to ninety percent of the political activity in the settlements is being initiated and conducted by the ISS. We barely bother to do anything anymore since they are always far more aggressive then we are and somehow they always manage to get excellent TV coverage."


Sigh. So much for democracy in Israel…no wonder our politicians are in love with their Arab counterparts.

Hat Tip: Joe Settler who has the details in "Democracy flies the coop"


Related:
President Bush Visit to Bring Peace, Solve Global Warming, End Poverty

New Peace Police to Protect Israelis From Reality
Follow IsraelSatireLab on Twitter

2 comments:

Yehudi01 said...

Isn't it sad to watch Olmert pretend to be nothing more than a puppet in the hands of Bush and Abbas? It's sickening and we all suffer because he is spineless and the worst of all Israeli PM's.

satiricohen said...

Hey Yehudi - thanks for dropping by.

I don't think he is pretending - he really is a puppet and it seems like he enjoys being one too. Pathetic!

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