Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Iran Declares Rhetoric Red Alert as Olmert Issues Threats

ISL - Jerusalem
Iranian President, Ali Ahmadinejad declared "Rhetoric Red Alert" for the first time since the war with Iraq. The President said that Iranian spokesmen in Iran and throughout the world are prepared to react instantly to any threats from Israel, "Our people are armed with harsh words and they will not hesitate to use them if necessary," warned President Ahmadinejad. The verbal escalation came in response to a series of threats issued yesterday by Israeli PM, Ehud Olmert.
Appearing before the Knesset's Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee, Olmert reviewed the situation with Iran, concluding that Iran is hell bent on acquiring nuclear weapons and destroying Israel.
Upon reaching this conclusion, Olmert issued a series of unambiguous threats toward the fanatical regime in Teheran. Specifically, Olmert threatened to threaten Iran if it did not cease uranium enrichment immediately, "We are losing patience," Olmert warned, "And sooner, rather than later, we will begin threatening Iran in earnest."

Olmert emphasized that Israel could not be more serious in its intentions to threaten Iran, "Obviously, our previous statements have fallen on deaf ears and soon we will have no choice but to make more statements: bolder, harsher, painful statements concerning Iran and its nuclear development plan."
Olmert said that it is unfortunate that the situation had deteriorated so badly, "Israel does not want to threaten Iran," Olmert clarified, "But we will if we absolutely have to."

Olmert said that Israel is keeping all its options open as to what kind of threats will be issued, "We have many threats available to us," Olmert said, "First, we can threaten to threaten, as I just did," Olmert explained.
"Our second option is to issue a specific threat such as, "If you don't stop the enrichment, we will call the CIA and tell them about it."
Olmert said that although no one likes to be a tattletale, sometimes there is no choice.

Other threats include the threat to condemn Iran in public, to castigate Iran, to censor its behavior, to criticize it, to gravely disapprove of its behavior. And - ultimately – to express disappointment with the whole country.
"Basically, we have a huge arsenal of threats at our disposal," Olmert said,

"The question is when to use them so they will be most effective."
Olmert assured the committee members that security experts are working around the clock to ensure that Israel has the best and most modern arsenal of threats to use against Iran, "Defense Minister Barak assured me that he is ready at any moment to issue such an array of empty threats that no enemy could withstand."
Members of the committee expressed their satisfaction with Israel's state of readiness, "There is no doubt in my mind that Israel is rhetorically superior to Iran and that we will prevail in any verbal confrontation between the two countries," said Chairman Tzachi Hanegbi .

According to experts on the Middle East, this is the closest Israel and Iran have come to a full blown verbal conflict since Ahmadinejad rose to power. Analysts now fear that a War of Words between the two countries is inevitable and will raise the price of parts of speech to intolerable heights, " Nouns are expensive enough as it is," said one analyst, "But war could drive the price of speech through the roof."

Funny - I always though talk was cheap in the Middle East! Or maybe I got it wrong? Yes, that’s it, silly me - life is cheap. But words to describe this situation – those are hard to come by!

Olmert explains the meaning of the word "useless" to the Knesset Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee, from the JPost.

Also: Ahmanedijad Promises to make Israel "A Light Unto the Nations"

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