Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Israel Admits Cruelty to Terrorists, Apologizes to World

ISL – Jerusalem
After cutting off the supply of electricity to the Gaza terrorist base for a whole day, Israel has been forced to back down from the drastic measure after being attacked from all sides for instituting inhuman measures against its murderers.

Israel Foreign Minister, Zipi Livni, apologized to the world and especially to the Palestinian terrorists for the inconvenience that the 24 hour artificial shortage of electricity caused them, "I told Barak that attacking the terrorists would be a PR disaster but he just wouldn't listen to me," said Livni, who was clearly distraught, "Now, instead of working with Abbas on our perfect peace agreement I have to waste time apologizing for things I never did," complained the Foreign Minister, who was forced to postpone a "Peace Weekend" she had planned in the Swiss Alps with her counterpart, Mahmoud Abbas, "It was supposed to be just me and him, alone, together, making peace in a warm, fire lit cabin," Zipi said, "I guess peace will just have to wait another weekend."

Meanwhile, Minister of Defense, Ehud Barak said that although he still thinks the measures were justified he is now proposing a watered down version of them, approved by the Foreign Ministry and backed by major Israeli and foreign NGOs and media outlets, in which Israel will supply fuel, food, basic goods, weapons and ammunition and anything else the Palestinians need or demand. In return, Israel will promise not to attack terrorists ever again, "This seems to me a fair compromise that the world community can accept and most importantly, it will stop Zipi from crying. I just can't stand to see her like that," said Barak.

But despite the favorable decision, Palestinians were still skeptic, "It all depends what kind of weapons Israel gives us and if they are actually ready to stop targeting innocent terrorists," said Ahmad Zuf, a Hamas spokesman, "If they are really willing to let us murder them with impunity then perhaps we have indeed reached a turning point in the peace process. But I'll believe it when I kill it," added the Hamas spokesman.

Hat tip: This depressing post from Bookworm Room
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