Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Outbreak of Judaism Narrowly Averted in Israeli Public School

ISL – Ramat –Gan

This just in: A group of alert parents and educationists from the "Ohel-Shem" public high school acted swiftly and decisively in order to protect their children from a terrible spiritual danger that was about to threaten their children and endanger their entire future - the menace of Judaism.
According to initial reports, A group of students began to pray in the courtyard during recess, "When I saw those boys all huddled together and moving and singing, I was sure they were smoking pot or popping ecstasy so I didn't give it a second thought," said the principal, Shoshana Matityahu, "Fortunately, one of the teachers went over to ask for a drag and the kids said they don't have any – instead they offered him a prayer book!" said the principal.

"This is a good neighborhood and the children come from the best families so we are not used to this kind of thing," explained Mrs. Matityahu, who was close to tears, "And at first we did not know what to do or how to deal with it– we just don't have the experience. But to be on the safe said we dispersed the kids and sent them home, reporting their abnormal behavior to their parents. I also immediately notified the police who sent over a probation officer and also the school's PTA board which convened the same day on an emergency basis."
"This is not the kind of matter that suffers any kind of neglect," said Joshua Cohen, Chairman of the PTA, explaining the emergency meeting " As a parent, you know that some things are so vile, so corrupting that they must be dealt with immediately and forcefully before they get out of hand. Obviously, incitement to Judaism is one of those things."

Although there is a growing number of Israeli citizens who believe that once all Israelis were Jews and some that even believe Judaism is a legitimate form of expression, still, for the majority, Judasim is seen as a primitive form of behavior, a throwback to ancient, uncivilized times, " I don't know if our ancestors were once Jews," said Mr. Cohen, "And, frankly, I don't care. Once we were monkeys – does that mean that now we should walk around naked and eat bananas?"
The parents fear of an outbreak of Judaism that would infect their children led to some harsh, controversial measures –

the students who were caught praying were interrogated and then sent to a six week de-Jewification reprogramming camp on a kibbutz – not a pleasant experience by any account, "We know this is difficult, most of all for the children," said the principal, "But it is for their own good – they'll come back normal Israelis and in the end, years from now they will thank us for saving them."

Following up on the information disclosed by the students, the police are now hot on the tracks of the criminals who started all this, "We are aware of a ring of Judaism-mongers, who are trying to disturb the peace of this city and its good citizens by praying and believing in god and sooner or later we will catch them," promised Moshe Aaronowitz, Chief of Police.

However, the brunt of the work has fallen on the shoulders of the teaching staff at "Ohel-Shem" high school. The children who were exposed to the prayer group are undergoing intensive therapy and the school has cleared out one day a week in order to discuss the dangers of Judaism, praying and god, "Clearly, we have been remiss in our duty as educators," admitted Principal Matityahu, "The only thing that can save our children is education and objective knowledge – the knowledge that anyone wearing a Kippah is evil, that they should never talk to such people and if they see anyone like that hanging around the school they should run away immediately and report it to their teachers. Hopefully, that will be enough to avoid another disaster," said the Principal.

OK. That's not a bad idea. But tell me this – how are you going to keep God out of your children's minds and hearts? How do you catch something that you can't see? How do you fight against something that, according to your own world view, does not exist? That won't be so easy…

This story is a perfect illumination of the basic insanity of this country. The principal of Ohel-Shem - meaning "Tent of God" High School – no less!! – has her panties all in a bunch because some students want to pray. I mean – does she even know Hebrew? Where does she think the school got its name from? At least be honest and change the name of the school. Perhaps , from now on they can call it "Torquemada High" – it's not that much of a stretch, is it?? (no pun intended, really)

The original, unbelievable article from INN: Israeli Public School Bans Student-Initiated Recess Prayers

and also:
Hanukkah Cancelled by Israeli Supreme Court

Follow IsraelSatireLab on Twitter

No comments: