Sunday, January 13, 2008

Settlements Frozen After Bush Visit

ISL – West Bank

Immediately following President Bush's historic visit to Israel, Jewish settlements in the West Bank have begun to freeze. Although this development was not entirely unexpected, residents are still shocked by the abruptness of the move. For the first time this winter temperatures dropped to zero and worse. Residents from Har Bracha, Beth El and other settlements reported that they are getting colder every second, "We are freezing here," said Meir Levy from Har Brakha, "And there is no end in site."

The Yesha council has begged the government to stop freezing the settlements but
Prime Minister Ehud Olmert denied that the government has anything to do with the current drop in temperatures in the Jewish settlements, "Such a claim is absurd and just goes to show that the settlers are really out of their mind."
The settlers of course disagree – many reliable witnesses claim to have seen a huge human apparition approaching their homes and freezing them. Going by these eyewitness accounts, ISL photoshop experts have managed to create a near exact picture of the being that froze the settlements over the weekend and , to tell the truth, it bears a striking resemblance to Olmert. But judge for yourselves:

In the photo - Ehud "Mr. Freeze the Settlements" Olmertnaegger as seen yesterday near Har Bracha:

While searching for appropriate photos I came across this lovely set of pictures comparing Olmert to Shrek from an Israeli newsblog, which I was not familiar with, called One Jerusalem:

In my opinion, there's not much of a difference. I think Shrek looks better though.
Olmert is certainly an ogre – but a really mean one as opposed to the kind-hearted Shrek. Also, Olmert is unfortunately quite real. Will he end the Israeli fairytale or will a bold hero come to save us? If so, who will it be? Batman? Spiderman? Bibiman...?

Finally – can you guess the identity of Olmert's talking donkey??
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