Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Beilin Peace Martyrs Threaten Reconciliation in Hebron

ISL – Hebron
Tensions rose in the West Bank city of Hebron yesterday following a successful meeting between Jewish and Arab inhabitants of the city.
The city's Arab leaders, sheikhs Abu Khader Jabri and Haj Abu Ahram Abu Sneina, met with local settlers in an attempt to reconcile their differences and return to a normal mode of life after years of violent, bloody peace, "We are sick of peace," said Shiekh Jabri, "All we want is to return to the calm and good life we all enjoyed before this cursed peace broke out fifteen years ago."

Shiekh abu-Sniena added that as far as his people are concerned, they welcome the Jewish inhabitants of the city, "This holy city belongs to both peoples," said the Shiekh. The cordial meeting ended with a mutual feeling of satisfaction and optimism, "There is no reason Arabs and Jews cannot live together as long as we stick by each other and restrain the radicals on both sides," said Katzover, Head of the Regional Council.

Unfortunately, the new, local peace initiative faces a determined opposition. Immediately following the meeting, Beilin's Brigade of Peace Martyrs scattered leaflets in the city, promising dire consequences to all the participants. David "Abu-Noah" Kaufman, spokesman for the radical organization, said that real Peace is made by leaders of countries and licensed terrorist groups meeting in exotic resorts in foreign lands, not by local citizens meeting with each other in order to resolve their issues,

"These kind of meetings must be stopped since they will only bring the illusion of Peace to the inhabitants who are bound to be terribly disappointed," said the spokesman.
In a humanitarian effort to save the citizens of Hebron from a devastating let-down, Leftist organizations have already promised to cause as much mayhem and havoc in the city as possible, "Some houses and shops will be burned and some innocent civilians may likely be injured or killed in the upcoming Peace riots but it is for their own good," said Kaufman, who promised that hundreds of Peace activists from all over the world will answer the call to save Hebron, "the City of Their Fathers" from the prospect of unauthorized, illegitimate peace, "Whatever happens the media will blame the settlers so we are not worrying about a PR disaster for us,"said Kaufman.

"True Peace cannot be achieved as long as Jews remain in the city," added Kaufman, who condemned the Arab leaders for conceding a Jewish prescence in Hebron, and thus completely misunderstanding the most basic concepts of real Peace, "After twenty years they still don't get the idea. Is it any wonder that we have to work so hard to save these poor, ignorant Arabs from themselves?" asked the spokesman.

The Beilin Brigades of Peace Martyrs are a military group of Peace activists closely affiliated to the Israeli political party called "Meretz". They are named after the first Peace Martyr, Yossi Beilin, who spent three weeks in a log cabin, deep in the Norwegian forest, alone, with the deceased PLO leader, Yasser Arafat, in an attempt to formulate the historic Oslo Accords.
Beilin himself however, continues to deny any connection to the group.

Members swear allegiance to the Oslo Accords and the Beilin Doctrine which calls for continuous, high level and ultimately pointless meetings between liberal, self-hating Israeli- Ashkenazi Jews and rich, corrupt, Westernized Palestinians in an attempt to spend as much time as possible out of the country, preferably somewhere nice in Europe.

Hat tip: The Bookworm, who does not see these leaders living that much longer.

The original article from INN: Historic Peace Meeting in Hevron

Head of Settler Terrorist Cell Nabbed in Hebron

Follow IsraelSatireLab on Twitter

No comments: