Monday, February 11, 2008

Olmert Promises 72 Immaculate Prosthetic Limbs to Sderot Peace Martyrs

ISL – Berlin

Taking timeout from his winter vacation in Berlin, Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, addressed the crisis in Sderot, where two children were severely wounded in the sudden, twenty thousandth, five hundred and forty fifth mortar attack on the city. Olmert praised the bravery of the children and declared them "Peace Martyrs" who are now eligible to receive the promised 72 mint condition, "virgin" prosthetic limbs and body parts that each Jewish Peace Martyr is entitled to according to the Gospel of St. Rabin (Ch. 5, 23), which states that the faithful sheep will reap the rewards of Disability Pension for Life (200 NS! A month!!) and seventy two of the best prosthetics money can buy.

"For every vile Palestinan rocket, we will answer with a Jewish Peace Martyr," said Olmert who also vowed that the Israeli Martyrs wll not lack for limbs or other body parts, "Instead of two legs, we will give them twenty, instead of one spleen, they will have ten! Instead of one head they shall have three!! Instead of ten fingers they shall have fifty; in short, they will get seventy two new body parts or my name isn't Olmert!" cried the Prime Minister, who also promised to monitor the child's progress closely once he (Olmert) returns from Germany, "What's his name will be like a brother to me from now on," Olmert said.

Olmert also expressed his sincere regrets that he himself could not give his life or at least one of his body parts for Peace, claiming that his security guard will not allow him to endanger himself,


"The head of the security guard told me he would quit if I ever try to ride a bus," said Olmert, "When I suggested maybe sitting in a coffee shop, or visiting the Shuk just to show that I'm one of the people he nearly fainted. According to security protocol the only safe places for me are my office and my house, which have both been reinforced with extra thick steel. Fortunately, I am also allowed to go any place outside of Israel, which is why I spend so much time out of the country – it makes life a lot easier for the security people," Olmert explained, "But, still, sometimes I envy the carefree life of the common people, like the lucky people in Sderot."

In Sderot, the mother of the two Peace Martyrs admitted that she couldn't have been happier, "I am as proud as any mother could be for sacrificing her children for the sake of make-believe peace and Olmert's media spin," said Aliza, "The only thing that would make me happier is if the d#$%^%%$ rocket would have fallen on my head and killed me instead. That would have been true joy. But you can't have everything in life," said the courageous mother who is so happy she hasn't stopped crying for the past two days, "I can't help it," she said, "I'm just overcome with joy."

Am I bitter? You bet I am. How can one not be?
Middle East expert Daniel Pipes has said more than once that the only cure to Western stupidity, naiveté and gullibility in the face of radical Islam is death. He calls it "Education by Murder".

It seems like a pretty good idea, but it is apparent that in Israel this just isn't working. But if we cannot learn from death, then what can we learn from? I mean, what is worse than death? (No, don't tell me - I really would rather not know)

On the other hand, maybe murder is effective, just everyone has his own pace of awakening - such as this kibbutznik from the Gaza border who is now advocating...well, see for yourself on the Haifa Diary, which brings excerpts from a letter: More and More Kassams.


Related:
From yesterday:Israeli Government Hits Palestinians with Harsh Concessions After Sderot Attack.

From Ynet, A report on the children's condition.
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