Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Palestinians Violently Protest Non-Violence Protest

ISL – Gaza
Palestinians voted with their feet yesterday, shunning the much-heralded anti-Israeli, non violent protest, in favor of lobbing mortars at Israel from the comfort and safety of their own backyards.

After successfully breaching the hitherto unknown border between Gaza and Egypt, the Palestinian government sought to do the same with the Israeli border, but this time with a twist: instead of blowing up the border and shooting at the guards, Hamas opted for a non-violent protest, the first of its kind in the desperate, decades long struggle of the Palestinian people to exterminate Israel.

The unfamiliar concept was quite a challenge for Ramzi Hamed, the Hamas Public Relations officer tasked with drumming up the necessary popular support for the move, "We don't even have the words to express such an idea," complained Ramzi, who ordered the schools closed and had his people hand out fliers announcing " A new, lethal weapon against anti-Zionism to be revealed at the demonstration" in an effort to bring out as many people as possible. But despite the offer of free bussing and refreshments, most Palestinians chose to stay at home.

"What I want to know is – if we are not killing anybody or stealing from anybody, or destroying something – then what's the point? I mean, what's in it for me?" asked Abed, A simple terrorist from Gaza, who echoed the feelings of many. For instance, Lutfi, a disgruntled father said, "If my child is going to miss bomb-making school, then it should be for a better reason then some silly demonstration where shooting is not allowed. These teachers – they will use any excuse to close down," said Lutfi, who had to quit his job at the smuggling tunnels early in order to take care of his kids, "You should have seen the dirty look the boss gave me!"

According to onlookers,

only several thousand Palestinians showed up and even they were disappointed, "We came to see a new weapon that will destroy the racist Zionist entity," said Muhammad from Gaza, " Well, I've been here all day and all we did was hold hands and chant and I want to know when, in the name of Allah, are we going to kill some Israelis?" said Muhammad, echoing the sentiments of many other disappointed Palestinians.

Hundreds of these dissatisfied protesters mobbed the Hamas representatives who spent the day trying to explain the nature of the non-violent weapon to the disbelieving crowd, but to no avail. Finally, apparently out of pure frustration, the mob ransacked the Hamas non-violence stand, trashed the non-violence propaganda and shot the organizers of the non-violent protest, "There is only one way to deal with this lying Western scum," said the masked leader of the mob, called Yousouf, "The Palestinian way!"

Too bad it didn't really end this way. The Hamas people have certainly killed enough innocent people to deserve it!

Related:
The report from INN

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