Saturday, February 9, 2008

UN Human Rights Council Praises Iranian Policy of Stoning

ISL – New York
In a special session dedicated to the celebration of human rights in Iran, Ahmad Sallah the Libyan Chairman of the United Nation Human Rights Council heaped praise on the record of the Iranian regime, "The manner in which Iran views human rights accurately reflects the policy of the council," said Ahmad Sallah, "As most council members are aware, reconciling the prerequisites of a dictatorship with basic human rights for one's subjects is one of the most difficult challenges that despots face all over the world. Considering the fact that dictatorships traditionally have other priorities to work through before addressing the needs of the common people, the Council finds it noteworthy that the regime in Iran has consistently been on the forefront of authoritarian countries striving to introduce human rights into the daily life of their subjects."

The Council specifically addressed a recent case in which two sisters were sentenced to stoning after being convicted of adultery. According to our sources in Iran, the two sisters were out walking in the capital, Teheran, when one of them stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. A man who was passing by held out his hand to steady the faltering woman, who thanked him and went on her way. The whole sequence lasted less than thirty seconds but , unfortunately for the women, it was taped by a private investigator hired by the woman's suspicious husband. Using the newest technology and the oldest ideas, the husband was able to prove that the woman needlessly pressed her hand onto the man's arm for a good extra five seconds. It was also shown that their eyes met for a long, clearly sexual moment of time, which, according to the husband, "lasted an extremely painful eternity". In light of the overwhelming evidence the court had no choice but to rule that the woman had knowingly and shamelessly committed adultery. She was sentenced along with her sister, who was an accomplice to the act, to ninety nine lashes, the minimum sentence required by law in such a case.

The Council said that the tolerance exhibited by the Iranian court was extraordinary, "For one thing," said Chairman of the Council, "They had a trial! In my country, the woman would have been shot immediately," said Mr. Sallah.
The Council praised both the implementation of due process in a case in which the outcome was obvious from the start and also the leniency of the Iranian court for administering a mere 99 lashes,

"In Sudan they would have got 300 lashes and 25 years in jail," said Deputy Chairman, General Khalil Bashir, third cousin of Sudan leader Field Marshall Umar Hassan Ahmad al-Bashir.

However, as chance had it, a mistake was made by the Iranian courts and it was discovered only after the sister's had received their lashings that the correct ruling for such a case is death by stoning and not 99 lashes. The courts immediately notified the two sisters and apologized profusely for the mistake, "The women distracted the judges with their incessant flirting" said a press release from the Teheran Courts of Islamic Justice, "And thus caused the regrettable mistake. The offense will be added to their record."
According to their attorney the two sisters were enormously relieved that the lashing they had received was all a terrible mistake, "I knew I was innocent," said the accused, although the news of her upcoming stoning somewhat dampened her enthusiasm.

"The stoning is considered an act of mercy in Islam, since the punishment will cleanse the women's souls and enable them to spend eternity in heaven," explained Saudi representative to the UNHRC, Shikh Fawzi Abdullah, "Thus, far from being a cruel means of punishment, as biased Western observers may suppose, it is actually the best thing that could have happened to the two women. It is an extraordinary case of the compassionate application of human rights by the Iranian Courts."
Accordingly, the U.N Council has booked seats for the stoning, scheduled to take place next month, "It will be an honor for the Council members to participate in the stoning in person and thus recognize the Iranian contribution to human rights while also giving each representative a concrete opportunity to stone a vile adulteress and thus contribute to the advancement of human rights which is, after all is said and done, what the UNHRC is all about, isn't it" asked the Libyan Chairman, Ahmad Sallah.

Sadly, this is what human rights look like when the worst offenders in the world are running the show. Poor Iranian Women!!
A pity Western Feminists are too busy selfishly condemning the petty offenses of Western Patriarchy or Israel to actually bother with defending women's rights where it is most needed.

Hat tip: "Iranian Barbarism Watch: Two Sisters Condemned to be Stoned to Death......." from the Tundra Tabloids, which also has the telephone numbers of the Iranian embassy if you would like to tell them what you think of this barbarism.

Iranian sisters face stoning for adultery: report from AFP

Women In Islamofascist land (a short but enlightening excerpt of a visit to Saudia) from one of my favorite sites: Democratic Peace.

And if you are wondering where are the Feminists, then, you are not alone - so is David Horowitz from the indispensable FrontPageMag who writes: A Response to Feminists on the Violent Oppression of Women in Islam.

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Gila said...

I was hoping that you were grossly exagerrating. Then I checked the links.... You are exaggerating, but not by much.

What a nightmre for those women and their families.

Oh--piece on Barak getting lost on the way to Sderot etc---nice!


satiricohen said...

Hello Gila - thanks for dropping by and commenting. I appreciate it.

I so wish I was exaggerating. Must be hell living in that country, at least for women.