Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Israel Pretense Forces Bravely Escape Armed Conflict

ISL - Jerusalem, 11 December, 2012 - In another heroic action, highlighting the courage and vigilance of Israel's Pretense Force, an entire squadron of veteran combat soldiers faced off a fierce group of stone-flinging Arab youths, escaping just in time to avoid quelling the disturbance in a professional and decisive manner and without inflicting any kind of physical or spiritual damage upon the Arab hooligans.
Secretly filmed footage of the action was inadvertently released on the internet yesterday, allowing the public to witness firsthand the perils of service in the Israeli Pretense Force. Most of the public, as well as Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu and many other MKs from the entire political spectrum, were supportive of the action and the IPF, praising the bravery of the soldiers and their determination to uphold the strictest, most humane rules of combat ever set up by a scarred nation fighting for its very existence. Israeli PM, Netnayahu, released a statement saying that "A new and better generation of soldiers has emerged in Israel, a generation that forgoes the base, physical aspect of combat in order to achieve pure, metaphysical victory on the moral plane. They are the pride of the nation." Minister of Pretense, Ehud Barak, also known as "Runaway Ehud", for his successful, groundbreaking midnight retreat from Lebanon and other military failures, said that "Not since the Disengagement have we seen the IPF act in such a decisively moral manner. This is a proud day for all defenders of important Jewish values such as 'turning the other cheek' and 'Loving your enemy'.
IPF Chief, Benny Dunce, later admitted that three soldiers were moderately wounded in the action, but said that "Moral victories are never cheap, and sometimes, if not always, Jewish blood is the price of conquering and maintaining the moral high ground, which is the only real ground there is and therefore our most important military objective."

This loathsome business of trading Jewish lives, property, history, ethos, and values for a theoretical morality that only Jews must adhere to, has really gotten out of hand. This premise, invented and imposed in the 1980s by former Supreme Court Chief, Aharon Barak, and the Israeli media, is the source of all our troubles, from the Oslo Accords to this day. The sooner we rid ourselves of this mindset, the more lives we will save on both sides. 
Also, lest anyone has forgotten, the last decisive moral victory that the Jewish people won was the Holocaust. For my part, I can do without such "victories"...
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Shimon said...

Glad to see you back!
Unfortunately, your source material is limitless.

Jerusalem Joe said...

Yes, well, it was only a momentary lapse on my part. The craziness is just too much for me.
Anyway, Shimon, thanks for following and for taking the time to write.
Keep well and safe!